TPX MONKEY MILK / COMING TO A STORE NEAR YOU!

          Have you ever wondered how to make yourself a better person? Does the daily grind of life bring you down? Have you become a difficult person to be around? Well it doesn’t have to be that we any more because now there is a way to fight back… with TPX MONKEY MILK!

          TPX Monkey Milk is made from the freshest free range Monkey’s in the forest and has no additives or sugar. Nothing but tasty aged to perfection monkey milk. Studies show that our monkeys are smarter, faster, stronger, funnier and more sexually active than our leading competitors giving us an edge when it comes time to deliver the goods to you our loyal customers.

          TPX Monkey Milk was created by the top softball player in the land, 3rd baseman for the Houston Sports Plex TPX club, Thomas Bullard. When his team went from first place to last place in the course of a season, he knew something had to be done. Fortunately for the team, Thomas new a gentleman that knew how to harness the power of one of natures craziest but most exciting creatures. You guessed it the monkey!

          Thomas’ Monkeys are born and raised in the jungles of Asia and are kept enclosed in a brand new monkey reserve that Thomas dubbed T’s Fantastic Monkeyville! It’s a wonderful place where the furry little misfits run free and do monkey things all day long. There are bananas a plenty in this tropical setting, plus plenty of room to swing from vine to vine and impregnating the female monkeys. Creating new monkey in such a free environment does wonders the attitudes and well being of Thomas’ monkey prisoners. It’s great to have a happy monkey, especially when it comes time to harvest them for there milk.

          Harvesting these little guys can be a tricky job but Thomas hired a dedicated and well groomed team of monkey squeezers that works around the clock squeezing only the purest monkey milk from the furry vessels of milky profit. This ensures you the consumer that what you get is a top quality product.

The following are just a few reviews of TPX Monkey Milk as reported by you, the consumer. EJOY!

*Mr. Brad Altman from Houston writes… “Monkey milk makes me feel great like I’m floating on an ocean of milky success! Thanks Monkey Milk!”

*Mr. Gene Tenney from South Dallas says… “I’ve grown two whole inches since I began drinking the stuff! Now I can ride any rollercoaster I want!”

*Christian Gormely from Spring Texas writes in to tell us… “I’m so fresh and so clean now from drinking Monkey Milk I’ve started switching four lanes on a daily basis!”

*Grant Walker wants everyone to know that… “TPX Monkey Milk makes my pink parts tingle and gives me goose bumps the size of nipples!”

*THE HOUSTON SPORTS PLEX TPX CLUB was quoted as saying… “We were losers and now we’re winners thanks to the great taste of TPX MONKEY MILK!”

          So as you can clearly hear by those kind words, people are quite simply going bananas TPX MONKEY MILK. So head down to your neighborhood store and ask one or two, hell just buy all of them. We guarantee that you’ll be spanking your monkey in no time!